I Don't Want the World to See Me
by Tunny.x
Summary: He needed to know more. He need the information, craved the information. Craved to know everything about them, because he didn't know anything about them. He needed to know. He had to know.
1. Prologue

Prologue

Another boring day done for Derek Venturi. He slammed his locker closed after shoving all his needed books for homework (_yeah right, like I'll ever do homework,_ he thought) in his ratty old bookbag, he made his way down the crowded hall. He passed the jocks, the geeks, Casey, hot girls with instruments, preps...wait a sec, back up. Hot girls with instruments? Now that sparked his interest.

Slowing his pace as he neared the tough looking girls, he eyed them cooly. There was four of them, two of them twins. He knew all their names, because he knew everything. There was, of course, the McCracken twins, Jason and Daniel, and their two friends, Rayne and Jeniffer, who went by "Iffer". Out of all of them, he knew Jason the best, but only because her chair was next to his in the pricipals office.

But besides that, he knew hardly anything about them. He was curious. He wanted to know more. They where hot, and no girl could resist him. He knew he could get into their minds, manipulate them into liking him. He knew he could. Because he was Derek Venturi, and he could do anything.


	2. Finding the Key

Ch. One.

After he saw the twins and their friends in the hallway at school, Derek had worked his connections to the bone. But it didn't really pay off. He hardly learned anything. Why? _Because they're too sectretive, that's why, _he thought sourly. Once again he scanned over the list of things he had learned that was in his hand.

_1. Twins - Jason and Daniel McCracken_

_- Many siblings: total unknown, oldest aged 23, youngest 6 months_

_- Musical Intrests include any genre falling in any category from Emo to Death Metal_

_- Members of a gang; any further info unknown to student body_

_- 16 years old (17 in November)_

_- Jason: Sophmore_

_- Daniel: Senior_

_2. Friends/Band Mates: Rayne Hunter_

_Jeniffer "Iffer" Gallant_

_Dryden Hunter (younger brother of Rayne)_

_Rayne Hunter - 17 years old_

_- Junior year_

_- Younger Brother Dryden_

_Dryden Hunter - 14_

_- Freshman_

_- Older Sister Rayne_

_Jeniffer "Iffer" Gallant - 15_

_- Sophmore_

_- Only Child_

_Any further information unknown_

For Derek, this would not do. This would not do at all. He needed to know more. He need the information, craved the information. Craved to know everything about them, because he didn't know anything about them. He needed to know. He _had_ to know.

To him, not knowing was as if it was mocking him, laughing because he didn't know about it. It bugged him and nagged him and annoyed him until he unlocked the secret, found the key, knew everything there was to know. It was driving him mad.

Running a hand through his hair, he tried to form a plan on how to know, how to make the mocking stop. So he went over the list again and again, trying to pick every little detail of the short list.

Looking up from the list on his desk, his eyes swept over the top of his computer screen and over the room in front of him.

Pine green walls, clothes everywhere, unmade bed, "sexist" posters on his wall, guitar and it's amp. It was your typical teenage boys bedroom.

He looked at the list again, and then it hit him.

_Musical Intrests include any genre falling in any category from Emo to Death Metal_

That's it. He would conntect to them through music.

-x-

Note: Some information in this chapter has been edited, but only slightly, and it won't alter the rest of the story. Enjoy C:


	3. Thinking and Bickering

Ch. 2

All through supper that night, Derek was quiet, which was unusual for him. He didn't even know what he was eating - he was too busy thinking. Planning on how to approch the girls, how to communicate with them, how to convicnce them he was just like them.

But how?

Oh, that dreaded word. _How._ He hated it. Absolutly despised it. _How. How. How. How. How? How to do it? How to figure out this one? How? _

He had no idea. He really, honestly didn't. He knew it had to be music. That he knew. A concet maybe? He'd have to check the local listings - he didn't know of any good rock concerts coming up.

Yes, that's what he'd do.

But what if there wasn't a concert? What would he do then?

"...rek...erek...Derek..."

"DEREK!"

Derek jumped out of his thoughts, dropping his fork on the floor.

"What?" he asked stupidly, looking at each of his family members, who in return where looking at him as if he'd grown four extra heads.

George sighed. "I said, 'Are you okay? You're too quiet, I don't like it'." He repeated, as if for the millionth time.

"Wha? Oh, yea...I'm fine. Just thinking..." Derek replied, too much out of character for his father to chomprehend.

Derek _never_ stopped to think about anything. At all. It was all to unusual. So, George decided to pry at it. But Casey beat him to it.

"You? Thinking? I had no idea you could."

And thus another fight was born.

"Yeah, well I didn't know you could walk, the way you fall over all the time."

"That's different."

"Oh yeah? How. Personally, I don't think there's a difference at _all."_

Nora cut in. "Derek, Casey, that's enough."

The two ignored them and continued to bicker. Edwin and Lizzie exchanged knowing looks across the table and shook thier heads sadly as they went back to eating. Everyone else (exept, of course, Derek and Casey, who where still bickering) decided to stay out of it, and went back to their meals aswell.

Although, George was going to talk to Nora tonight to see if they could figure out what was up with Derek.


	4. Wanting

Ch. 3

"Somethings up with Derek, I know there is," George said to his wife Nora, who was sitting on the couch next to him in her pyjamas.

It was past midnight, and the kids had been put to bed for the night. Derek was probably still awake, though, because, now a moody 17-year-old, he never really slept at all at night. Casey, aslo 17, had gone to bed at ten, like she had every night scince she was 15. She didn't change, but Derek did. And that's what concerned George so much.

"I don't know honey," Nora replied quietly, trying to keep their conversation in hushed tones. Derek had developed quite an ear for eavesdropping over the years.

"Well, whatever it was, I don't like it. He was quiet at supper, and he didn't seem to put much effort into fighting with Casey tonight. And, he acctually _ate_ his supper, I mean, he dosn't even _like_ spinach pie," George said in a somewhat agitated tone, but also keeping his voice as low as possible. He too knew Derek might be listening.

"Well, maybe you should talk to him, you know, when you're alone, casually bring it up, maybe you could get him to tell you," Nora suggested.

George scoffed, "Yeah right," he said, "Derek tell me something."

-x-

Upstairs, Derek laid in bed, wide awake. His 70$ headphones covered his ears, but nothing was coming out of them. The battery in his mp3 player had long scince died, but he hadn't noticed. He was too busy thinking.

There where no rock concerts scheduled for the next few months. So he had to come up with a backup plan. But nothing seemed to work. Everything he came up with could backfire, work against him, or there was simply a flaw, or even unbelievably unlikley to happen or work.

He was upset. He was so, agonizingly upset. He hated being like this. He had to think, he had to get a plan, had to met Jason and her friends, get inside their minds, make them like him.

So, all night he lay there, on top of his bed, thinking hard. He thought so hard he was wide awake all night. And the next morning when his alarm went off, he took his headphones off and went downstairs to get something to eat.

He didn't want to take a shower. He didn't want to change his clothes, do his hair, brush his teeth.

He wanted Jason McCracken.

And it killed him, because he might neve have her.

-x-

Hi xD Sorry for not posting a note or whatever...I'm just getting used to the site, that's all. And I finnally figured out that when uploading the story it was then time to make a note. I'm stupid, I know. Well, I hoped you liked chapter three. And, if it seems to be going slow, it'll pick up, I promise.

3

-Tunny


	5. When Dreams become Reality

Ch. 4

"Mr. Venturi..."

Derek barley heard the teachers voice through his sleep. He groaned, and slammed his head on his desk. A shot of pain went through his head, and he blinked, shocked at how much it seemed to hurt.

"MR. VENTURI, OFFICE, NOW!"

Derek lifted his eyes from his desk, his chin still on the cold metal. He mumbled a string of incoherent curses, and grabbed his bookbag from the back of his chair and made his way out of the class, rubbing his eyes on his way to the office.

As he arrived, however, he jolted awake.

Sitting in her chair was none other than the girl he wanted so badly.

He shook his head, and hard, and prayed he didn't look as if he had just been asleep in class, dreaming about her. He slapped a sly grin on his face and plopped down in his chair next to her.

Jason turned her head to look at him, a look of hate in her white-blue eyes. They where heavily lined with khol, mascara making her eyelashes 3 times longer than they should have been.

A wedge of blue-purple hair hung over her right eye, and further up, the colors turned into a white, and eventually black. It was messy and unkept, and there where some braids and dreadlocks in there, too.

Her clothes white old, black, and too small. The faded black t-shirt she had on showed her stomach, and the neck of it had been ripped out, and the sleves where torn and tattered aswell. On it read "The Used". Her black skinny jeans had about a million holes, and her black converse All Stars had various holes in them aswell. Her studded belt had lost more studs than was on there, and the leather was old and fadded.

"Hi," Derek said, taking in her petite, scarred and tattooed form.

In response she blew a huge bubble with her Double Bubble.

"What're you in for?" he asked, striving to keep the conversation going.

She sucked in her gum, and gave him a look he couldn't read.

"Do you even care?" Her voice was powerful; it had a lot of emotion behind it. But at the same time, it was soft, angelic, peacful. It could go eather way. It could symbolize either hate or love. Derek wasn't sure.

"Yeah, I mean, I know you're here alot, and I was just wondering what up to what level of athority you respect," he said slyly, making it up as he went.

"I hate athority." She spat.

Derek raised an eyebrow. "Really now?" He asked.

"Yes. But I don't see why you care."

"I care about alot of things people think I don't care about."

"Oh yeah, like what?" She asked sarcasticly, not believing it for a second.

This caught Derek off guard. He could feel the gears in his brain churning, thinking, making something up. Then he got it.

"Animals," he said, "I hate people who are cruel to animals. I care about that."

That was, to a point, true. He cared what happened to them, but he wasn't going to try and save them. He did care, but only to a certain extent.

"You're lying," she said, "I'm not stupid, you know."

"Who said you where stupid?" Derek asked, somewhat perplexed.

"You'd be suprised."

And once again she was silent.

But she had given Derek enough to think about.

One: She hated what other people thought and hated people telling her what to do.

Two: She could tell if you where lying.

Three: ...okay. Two...

Then, he realized she had never answered his question.

"So what're you in for?" He asked.

"You really wanna know?" She said scathingly.

"...yes?"

"Okay. I'm here for getting into a fistfight, and for having possesion of cocaine and marijuwana, you happy now?"

_No_..._I'm not._

_-_x-

Well well. That was a suprise, wasn't it? I betcha you never thought she'd do drugs. But wait, just because she has them, dosn't mean she's doing them, right? Well, I'm not sure (yes I am...I'm just not telling...) And poor Derek. He fell asleep in class because he was up all night dreaming about a druggie. I fell sorry for him. (not really...and, she might not even be a druggie! How's them apples eh?)

Tune in next time! (-kill'd-)

-Tunny ♥


	6. Decisions, Decisions

Ch. 5

His eyes, his head, everything hurt so much from thinking. He stared blankly at the ceiling, trying to figure out what he was going to do. He was officially part of something, even if he didn't know it yet. He didn't know what to do. For once, he hadn't a clue what to do. He'd never been in a situation like this before, and he wanted to know what to do. But he knew if he told anyone - anyone at all, he'd be dead. He wasn't sure how he knew this, but he did. It confused him, the situation. It was mocking him, mimicking him, killing him.

What was he going to do?

Derek didn't know. He wished he did but he didn't.

He sighed.

He wanted her so badly. He craved her. His entire body. Everytime he even thought about her there was a stab in his heart that was never there before when he thought about a girl, and he vaugly wondered what it was, what it ment. It confused him. He didn't know it, but it was something more than what he'd felt for any other girl.

For some reason he really didn't know, Derek had a sudden flashback of some sorts when he was 15 and Casey was going through her "feminism" fase. He remembered that feminism wasn't about losing power, but was equality. He remembered girls could be more powerful than men, sometimes by so far it was scary.

And then he wondered if Jason was a feminist.

She had to be. Hell, she got into a fistfight today. Not many girls he knew did that. Acctually, he didn't know any that got into fistfights. Verbal fights yes, physical, no. And he was drawn to it.

And the drugs.

He loved it.

He loved that she had the drugs. To him, it ment something. He couldn't put his finger on what, but it ment something. He knew she did them. He could tell. He didn't know how he could but he did. He knew it. She knew he knew. They both knew.

But the drugs also ment something else.

If they ever got together, Derek's parents would find out one way or another.

And he would be banned from seeing her. He was sure of it.

She would be reported to the authorities, sent to juvi. Maybe even prison. Derek knew she could handle it - she was tough. But he wasn't sure if it could.

So he was faced with a problem.

What to do?

But what if she didn't want him the same way he wanted her? For Derek, that would be completly new. He'd never met a girl he couldn't "woo". He'd never met anyone - besides Casey - that didn't really like him.

Somehow he knew Jason would be different. Because she was different. And that's what drew him to her.

The ripped, torn, black, tattered and too-small clothes, eyeliner so thick it was almost a part of her pale, white skin. Muli-colored, layered, messy, unkept hair that fell just above her perfectly rounded butt. Her dainty hands, tiny wrists covered with black braclets. Her bare stomach that always seemed to show, the tattoos and scars that covered her body. Her short, thin, legs, her small, little feet, her old shoes. The shocking blue-white of her eyes - so white it almost looked as if there where no color at all, nothing but her pupil, just sitting there.

It's almost as if she where the walking dead.

And even though he knew he'd get in trouble for even talking to her, he was determined to do it.

He was going to make her, Jason, his.

No matter what.

-x-

Hey everyone. Hope you enjoyed chapter five. I know it's a little late, but I never really got around to it until now. I've been doing alot of plotting latley. Also, this is almost a filler, I just wanted to show why Derek thought "No, I'm not" at the end of the last chapter. It's because he somehow realises that if he wants to make Jason 'his', he's going to have to break alot more rules than he's used to, and he's not sure if he should or not. So, basically this chapter is just here to show what he's going to do, and in the end, decideds it's worth it. Also, you get a deeper perspective at how Jason looks, and how tough Derek sees her. Derek sees her as the toughest, most hardcore person around, because he's cock sure that she can survive in prison. Is he right?

-Tunny

♥


	7. Domination

_Hi everyone. I know, I know... I'M ALIVE. I found my account tonight while trying to make a new one so I could put a few stories on alert...I forgot about this account completely, and this story. I revised it and decided to write a new chapter...hopefully someone reads it:) Anyway...enjoy? _

--

The clock read three am. The computer screen read google.ca. The searchbar read heavy metal. Derek needed to know about this whole metal thing. He had to know to find out about her and her friends, her and her whole life. He had gathered so far that the whole "Heavy Metal" thing was not only something you liked, it was something you lived. He would have to go all out for this.

But somehow he didn't seem to care. Somehow, to Derek, it didn't matter. He would go the extra mile for this, spend the extra buck, do the extra research. He would do whatever it took to get this girl, even if he got run to the curb and lost everything. That was a chance he was willing to take.

So far, he knew that Metal was not just one genre. It was, but it was divided into many others. The most common seemed to be what was called Thrash Metal. There was the big four of Thrash; Metallica, Anthrax, Megadeth and Slayer. The only band out of all of them that he'd ever heard was Metallica. He'd heard _of_ Slayer, sure, but he'd always thought it was creepy and satanic shit that only devil worshippers and psychotics listened to. He was obviously wrong...unless Jason and her gang where devil worshippers. They sure looked like it.

Derek had also found out about some other metal sub-genres, such as Death Metal, Black Metal, Doom Metal, Goth Metal, Classic Metal, Viking Metal, Nu-Metal, and many more. He had no idea this whole thing was so complex. He thought it was just one type of music...not fifty types. He was almost...speechless.

He was getting himself into more than he bargained for.

He was also getting most of this information from wikipedia and youtube video comments. Most of the Metal music he had heard was Metallica...and that was mostly just snippets of one song, called "Master of the Puppets", that pretty much everyone had heard before. So he looked up more bands in the thrash section.

He read through the band names, looking for something that seemed mildly interesting. A few names caught his eye, but one really stood out to him; _Pantera_. Interested, he clicked the link and read a little about them. He was very interested in them. He opened a youtube tab on his Internet window and stuck his headphones back over his head.

The first video on the search results was labeled "Pantera - Walk". He clicked and listened.

He was hooked at the first riff, the first visual thing he saw; a bunch of boys standing in a line, hands out, long hair, screaming their lungs out; war cries. Full of sweat, torn clothes, looking dirty and smelly, from the first line of the song, the first visual he had of the band with their long hair and gruff style, pounding drums and hard guitar riffs that pounded through his brain. The lyrics really drove themselves into his mind. The raw power of the music, the exhilaration the crowd seemed to have, the power the vocalist had over them, how into they all looked.

And then the guitar solo started. Accurate precision of the guitarist wanted to make him get up and for all the world start thrashing around as it pounded through him. He was living off of this. The solo was amazing. The look on all the fans faces, the sweat pouring down their faces, the flashing lights of the stage that flashed off his screen, the shots of the tarp in the background with _Pantera_ written on it in big white letters, the screaming of the crowd at the end...he was hooked.

He went back a page and clicked the next video. A song called _Domination_.

A live video. A huge crowd. Hair swinging. Screaming. Flags. An insane riff. Dirty clothes. Dirty vocals. Dirty everything. Dirty sound. Heavy drums. Huge drums. Everything, absolutely everything, was gruff and brutal. It didn't look like you could get any realer than what he was seeing.

Derek went all night discovering the world of _Pantera_, the world of metal, and was well on his way to becoming like the rest of them...a metalhead.


End file.
